Now that the school year is in full swing, many parents are probably wondering how their children are adapting to their new educational environment. For those parents with children in college, it can often be hard to get an accurate assessment of campus life. After all, campus life is a lot different from when they went to school, and students are so busy that calling home isn't always their first priority.
Unfortunately, parents have reason to be concerned with the campus culture surrounding sex and relationships. Dating is an institution of the past. It has been replaced by a culture of hookups, or physical encounters without an expectation of a relationship. The hookup culture dominates campus life and many students struggle to find their place in this social structure. Fortunately for parents, a new book may help shed light on the campus social scene, and therefore provide a better understanding of the challenges that their children face at school.
In Hooking Up: Sex, Dating, and Relationships on Campus, sociologist Kathleen Bogle delves right to the heart of campus culture by interviewing students and telling their stories. Unlike other recent books on the hookup culture, Bogle leaves judgment aside in favor of painting a sociological picture of the modern campus climate. Parents are left to form their own opinions about the hookup culture, but Bogle's book is certain to leave them with an accurate understanding of what it is like to be on campus. In that regard, it plays a critical role in understanding the myths and realities of the hookup culture.
For starters, the hookup culture is widespread. As Fogle points out, "Although students have many options about how they conduct themselves within the hookup culture, they cannot change the fact that hooking up is the dominant script on campus." In other words, all students don't participate in the hookup culture, but it is still the primary means for initiating sexual and romantic relationships. It is therefore worthwhile for parents to understand exactly what the hookup culture entails, so that they might help guide their children towards healthy decisions.
Parents need to understand just how dramatic a change the hookup culture represents. The hookup culture is a complete inversion of the traditional dating script:
"College men used to ask women to go on dates with the hope that something sexual, such as necking or petting, might happen at the end of the date. In the hooking-up era, this sexual norm is reversed. College students, following the hookup script, become sexual first and then maybe go on a date someday."
In terms of expectations, it is largely female students that hope a hookup might turn into a relationship. In her study Bogle found that "female students seem considerably more interested than males that hooking up would lead to a relationship or at least something more than a one-time encounter." But since the most likely outcome of any particular hookup encounter is "nothing," described by Bogle to mean "not hearing from the person again unless you coincidentally see him or her at another social event and decide to hook up again," many young women are left disappointed and confused. Almost 50 percent of college students who engaged in sexual intercourse during a hookup said they never saw the person again.
Parents should also know that:
-Alcohol is a major enabler of hookups. The students that Bogle interviewed believe that drinking lowers their inhibitions, thereby making a hookup possible. This finding is backed up by other studies that demonstrate "that alcohol consumption is correlated with the decision to have sexual intercourse as well as engaging in so-called risky sexual behavior, such as having casual sex."
-Friends matter. Bogle found that a student's circle of friends "was a good predictor of how entrenched he or she was in hooking up."
-Students overestimate their peers' level of sexual activity and number of partners. In turn, they judge themselves against these inaccurate standards.
-The hookup culture carries with it a host of health concerns, from binge drinking to STDs to sexual abuse.
In today's fast-paced world, knowing the nature of a problem is half the battle in coming up with a solution. Parents who want an insight into their children's campus life should consider picking up a copy of Hooking Up as a first step to helping their college-age children make their college experience healthy and fulfilling.
9 Comments
Katie Kuksenok | October 25, 2008, 11:20am | #
I am curious if the primary scope of Bogle's research concerning “the how and the why, as opposed to only the what” (Bogle, 4) is tangential to parents' concerns of “where.” It is my impression that there is a huge disparity between the normative behavior on large campuses as opposed some smaller liberal arts institution. When parents are faced with their children going off to college, what they really want to know is, “what is the norm of sexual conduct on this campus?” not “what is the norm of sexual conduct on a 'standardized' campus?”
First, there is the overwhelming question of whether there is a difference between the two questions. Answering “no” seems counterintuitive: every university and college boasts an individual atmosphere and attracts different prospective students. Every university and college has its own judicial system framing a well-defined attitude toward behaviors on campus. Every university and college has its own means of enforcing this judicial code. So, an interesting question for social research: Is there a difference in normative behavior from one institution of higher learning to another? What factors seem to play a non-negligible role?
Second, if it is established that there is a difference, the non-negligible factors must be considered in their relationship to and effect on the hookup culture. It is possible that the many things that set learning institutions apart have little effect on the overall behavioral trends, and the generalization of the hookup culture is perfectly legitimate. It is also possible, however, to relate certain factors and circumstances to behaviors.
Even when we concede that alcohol consumption prompts riskier sexual behavior, we cannot, without a barrage of evidence, differentiate the nature of alcohol consumption. The overall atmosphere of a campus, the respect “consent rules” receive, the predominance of “frat parties” cannot be unrelated to the issue of the hookup culture.
On the whole, it is my opinion that generalizing behavioral trends over all institutions of higher learning is only permissible with clear and overwhelming evidence indicating that doing so does not forfeit any important findings. I would be very interested in finding answers to the questions posed above, and I certainly agree that Bogle's work is incredibly important in further qualification and analysis of behaviors of students on college campuses.
Dr. Clifton Chadwick | October 28, 2008, 3:22am | #
Today's NYT has an article about increases in reported female infidelity.
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/10/28/health/28well.html?8dpc
Don't you suppose this links with the hookup culture?
Cheers
L. Baron | October 29, 2008, 2:12pm | #
The paragraph on "expectations" reminds me of something else I've read : "women give sex in the hopes of getting love and men say love in the interest of getting sex". It seems like the bigger risk is carried by the women.
Donna | October 30, 2008, 7:10am | #
As a concerned mom, who raised two sons, one went to the military, married and very happy, the second went to college, he is miserable. He hates the hook up culture and the young women look at him like a virtual alien, when he asks them out for date! I pray for him and ask God to please find him a partner someone who he can share life with.
Evans Muli Paul | October 31, 2008, 7:51am | #
I accept about your opinions which have been challenges Colleges,Universities and society in general
Tommy | November 1, 2008, 4:23am | #
Hooking up rules! I love beautiful girls!
Rebeccart | November 2, 2008, 12:09am | #
I graduated from a larger school in '89. Hooking up is nothing new, what seems to have changed with all sexual behaviors is the lack of discretion or shame. I was no angel and I am no hypocrite. What I do believe is that how hooking up is viewed has changed. I would never brag about a hook-up or post photos of it on Facebook (of course there was no internet back then) and that is the core difference. There have been men and women hooking-up forever. My Mother told me of a friend of hers in the early '50s who slept with most of the HS football team. While I was in a relationship I was always faithful, but a revenge factor seemed to hit as soon as we "took time off to date other people". This continued as a pattern after school and I am now blessed with a great husband and family. The main difference I see is the proliferation of porn and celebrity culture- girls are bombarded with Jenna Jamison and "The Girls Next Door" and think that that must be how all men want girls to dress and behave. They emulate and propagate the message. I think that men still want to "date" actual girls/ women who do not act like porn stars. The dates may be different from your experience but I think the true relationships are more real than you would expect- even if sex is involved very early. Just my thoughts. Thanks for the outlet on this very important topic.
harvey | November 22, 2008, 10:58pm | #
So the traditional "lets get drunk and do it" bar-scene has spilled over into our universities and high schools -- and instead of covering up the chaos it is promoted through media and social behavioral norms. To make it even worse, its accepted and condoned. Could this be the results of these peoples parents doing the same thing? Are we experiencing a repetitive behavioral phenomena?
These kids don't ask or expect anything more out of life. To argue that the child who lives a promiscuis and drunk life has dreams like anyone else is a fabrication of intention, and a false notion. Don't let the pity for these people pollute forgiveness. They're blowing it. Instead of college being a place you travel through on your way to get someplace else, it has become the place to be. It is no longer a method by which one can achieve their goals, it *is* the goal, thus, it is failure. Hook ups, partying, drinking, *is* the goal. It's not about becoming a dignified, respectable, educated individual. Once you engage in slutty and promiscuis behavior, you have established what you are. Getting a degree, dressing up in business attire and acting the part, doesn't make you dignified. It's about being a careless, irresponsible over grown child immersed in sexual gratification and drunkenness.
Surely heaven is a lonely place -- if no one is there does it really exist? Such questions cannot be answered. Better to have multiple one night stands in a hedonistic blow out while I'm young before the world turns its shoulder to me like it does to all the old and forgotten who rot away on life-support.
Who am I kidding? I am a slave to honor and meaning, passion and love. For me, there are no hook ups, only the loneliness of my own consciousness, whirling in a pool of disgust, misery, and contempt for my peers.
No woman would touch me with a 15 foot pole. Why go for a real man when its so much easier to have a sexy boy-toy. I lost the war in love to a Ken Doll. There is no place in this world for the sensitive, passionate, thoughtful, caring, strong, poetic, handsome and intelligent man.
Good luck on "preparing" your kids and "dealing with" the "problem". You're gonna need it.
Dave | November 22, 2008, 11:24pm | #
I posted under harvey, and that was a mistake. Posting under a fake name and failing to provide an e-mail means one thing - fear. Well, I'm posting this so if anyone has anything to say to me, lets hear it. But no one will, because no one cares, and no amount of studying or e-mails or one night stands is ever going to change that.