According to the British News, farmers throughout the U.K. have ninety days to put a toy in every pigstyor face up to three months in jail! Thanks to a new ruling from Brussels, toys must be provided to pigs to enrich their “environment” and prevent them from getting ornery.

Bewildered British farmers are eager to improve the wellbeing of their pigs but most are at a loss regarding what to do. Mr. Meeker, a farmer with 1,200 pigs, said: “I have a note here which says toys must be placed in the sties. I haven’t a clue what it means.” So, he tried out a plastic airplane and a furry teddy bear but worried, “Will this cause fighting? I remember how children react.”

Writing to Farmers’ Weekly he complains: “Yes, the day of the toy inspector has arrived, and it is not a TV spoof. It is the dictators of Europe who have thought this up. Good job the January sales are on.”