The Onion is one of the funniest magazines around. Sometimes it’s so right-on that you can’t tell it’s a parody. This Onion “memoir” of a woman who goes to college and discovers the advantages of being a feminist is a hoot. The adventure starts when our heroine meets Erica whom “everybody in the dorm was afraid of, because she attacked the racist and sexist welcome-week party.” Scroll down to learn the gender of our heroine’s new love-interest, Dylan.
How Can I Use Feminism to My Advantage?Knowledge is power. In this competitive, male-dominated world, a woman must take advantage of all the resources at her disposal. Luckily, I found a way to take the idea that men and women should be socially, politically, and economically equal, and make it work for me. Now I’m subverting the dominant paradigm — and raking in the benefits!
I learned about feminism at least 10 years ago, but at that point, I still didn’t know how valuable it was. Of course, I believed that every woman had a right to an education, proper healthcare, political representation, and equal career opportunities, but I never saw the point in spending my valuable time working for the empowerment of all women.
All that changed when I started school at Macalester College and met Erica. Everyone in the dorm was afraid of Erica, because she attacked the racist and sexist welcome-week party. By the fourth day of classes, Erica was a dorm-wide celebrity. I heard girls talking about her in the bathroom, boys talking about her in the dining hall. Nobody even knew I existed.
What was the difference between Erica and me? You guessed it: feminism. Well, not for long, sister….