The Other Charlotte and I have been following the sexual-harassment woes of the University of Colorado’s football team, against whose members claims of rape and abuse by women have been luridly if belatedly surfacing (See my Tight End, Feb. 19, and TOC’s The Real Skinny on Violence Against Women, Feb. 26). We’ve reported on Katie Hnida, who just revealed that her during her short (and if CU coach Gary Barnett is correct, less than competent) stint as a placekicker on the team in 1999 was marked by a rape by a fellow player and verbal abuse by others. Several other women said that they had also been raped by Colorado players at or after a sex party in 2001. Concerning those alleged three-year-old incidents (that resulted in no complaints at the time), I wrote:
“Perhaps they were indeed molested against their will–but why go to a sex party if you don’t want sex?
Reader T.S., who describes himself as “a man who strongly desires a world where women are safe to explore all their interests,” chides me for my flip remark:
“Apparently, you think women have the power to read minds and foresee the future unerringly and can be held responsible for any mistakes. One goes to a sex party to have fun, and part of fun is being able to say, ‘I’ve had enough,’ and have that be respected. I suggest you find a local swingers’ group event that is well-attended to see what I mean by this. There you should find out what is meant by respect to women. The most minor infraction by a man imposing his will over a woman’s body will get his a– booted out of the event. Arguing that women are responsible for the actions of other people is a step backwards for women.”
I apologize, T.S., and I admit it–I’ve never been to a swingers’ event. In fact, I didn’t even know that swingers still existed (I thought they were one of those Seventies fads, like Jap Slaps and “Mediterranean”-stained plywood cabinets in the kitchen.). But let me go on record, and I know I can speak for The Other Charlotte as well: We at InkWell are completely in favor of consensual sex. Honest!