Reader T.J. sends this e-mail:
“Is it just me, or are there millions of beautiful, witty, sophisticated, fun, and sexually astute women out there who cannot keep a guy, whereas we live in a world where Jessica Simpson has an adoring husband?
“My guy friend and I have really good sex. He thinks all of the above about me, but when so far as to say,’I don’t want a woman who can overtalk me.’But somehow he still wants sex. He even went after my naive, airheaded virgin friend and treated her like a goddess. I’m only 19, and I’ve already given up.”
This isn’t an advice column, T.J., but here are my thoughts: You’re only 19, way too young to give up! Even more important, you’re not too old to change your thinking. Here’s what you need to know: Men think differently about sex than women. They just do (I’ve got two brothers and a husband, so I know whereof I speak). Don’t believe what the feminist ideologues tell you. You (and I, and most women) want romance along with the sex. Men just want the sex. Preferably all the time. They do fall in love–and when they do, they’re infinitely more romantic and idealistic toward their mates than we women ever can be–but until that magical moment arrives, they’ll settle for the sex. And they really do tend to categorize women as either madonnas or whores. You can preach all the Gloria Steinem stuff you like at them until you’re blue in the face, but you’re not going to change them. So you have to ask–which would you rather be? Wouldn’t you love to have a man who idealized you?’I’m sure that your guy genuinely thinks you’re witty and beautiful. But even more important, you’re available. All the time. So what do you think he’s going to think about you? It’s not surprising then, that he treats your virgin friend like a goddess. She’s a woman he can idealize.’And think about Jessica Simpson. She’s gorgeous, and she held out until marriage. She found herself an adoring husband. Do you think she misses for a moment not having had all that premarital sexual experience that the feminist ideologues tout as so great? Your guy has already hinted that he doesn’t think much of a woman’s intelligence. So if you, maybe, um, told him you weren’t going to be quite so available anymore and he took a powder, would that be any great loss?’Unfortunately, the feminist ideologues have brainwashed young women into thinking that sexual promiscuity is all about freedom and power–and that anyone who doesn’t go along with that idea is a censorious prude. Unfortunately, the freedom and power typically end up on the male side, as you, T.J., might be discovering. Every young woman should read this commentary by Michelle Malkin of WorldNet Daily on the case of 24-year-old Jessica Cutler, fired from her job as a Senate aide for posting her sex life on the Internet on government time and the government’s computer. (See my Don’t Call Them Sluts, May 25.) Jessica’s now a celebrity, and the media’s attitude is: What squares and fools those folks are who disapprove of what Jessica did!
“I don’t usually write about such inside-the-Beltway gossip, but Cutler’s indecent conduct, glib rationalizations and in-your-face shamelessness, and the accompanying feeding frenzy over her, deserve a firm outside-the-Beltway lashing. This vulgar little episode reflects a larger, disturbing media trend toward normalizing and glamorizing sexual promiscuity among young working women. It harms those trying to succeed on their merits in the professional arena.'”And it also harms our own daughters, who will be forced to fight harder to protect their dignity and credibility in a’Girls Gone Wild’culture.”‘Yes, Jessica Cutler will have her 15 minutes of fame (and a book contract, and a Playboy spread, and God knows what else), just like Monica Lewinsky six years ago–and then, in six years, people may well be asking: Whatever happened to Jessica Cutler? ‘One of the cheesiest aspects of the affaire de la Cutler is her dismissive attitude toward the world of real work, in which people are expected to, say, show up on time. Here’s what she wrote in her most famous web diary entry:
“I just took a long lunch with F and made a quick $400. When I returned to the office, I heard that my boss was asking about my whereabouts. Loser.”
Thanks, Jessica, for assuring us that women really are the airheads on the job that the male chauvinists say they are.