One of the best things all week has been James Bowman’s reporting on the Republican convention–on National Public Radio, for heaven’s sake, and in heroic couplets, really for heaven’s sake.

Although Inkwell was able to find NPR on the radio dial to hear the poems, she has not had much success in getting them on the NPR website (where there’s a picture of the poet himself and those more technologically savvy than Inky may listen to the bard reciting his poems). I can only offer you a snatch from Jim’s website and urge you to find an adolescent with computer skills to help you tune in on NPR.

But here’s the convention in the words of our own Homer:

“Sing, O Muse, your most heroic Ditty:
Republicans convene in New York City,
Where we shall see kick off their fall Campaign
Giuliani, Schwarzenegger and McCain.
All hail th’Mod’rates of the G.O.P. —
For surely there are many more than three —
Who speak, for now, with but a single voice
That’s tolerant, unthreatening — and pro-Choice!
But though Republicans are everywhere,
We can’t avoid the ones who aren’t there.
You won’t hear nam’d — for who’d be such a Churl? —
Falwell, Robertson, Wolfowitz or Perle.

“Meanwhile, protesting in the open Air,
Are lots of Democrats who aren’t there.
Though scruffy, they’re no Yippies come again,
McGovern, Fonda or the Weathermen.
Such ghostly Presences it’s Etiquette
On both Sides — for this week — to just forget.”