As you might recall, Inkwell addressed the topic of the vanishing gender gap recently–well, in a facetious column in today’s New York Times columnist William Safire suggests that John Kerry’s only hope may be bringing back that gender gap. 

Safire pretends that he is inside John Kerry’s head as the candidate tries to figure out how to rescue his campaign and win in November. At one point, “Kerry” thinks about the gender gap:

“Above all, win back the women who used to be with the Democrats. Bush has them believing that the fighting in Iraq is for the security of their families. Too many women can’t get it through their heads that Iraq is just a distraction from the global terror war. And Bush’s pitch about ’better fighting over there than here’ — tying Iraq to Al Qaeda — closes what used to be our huge gender gap. So I have to move on to ’while he’s spinning, we’re losing’ — and never mind that it makes me dependent on escalation by Zarqawi and pessimism from C.I.A. flip-floppers who were wrong before but who now want jobs in my administration.

“Yes, scared women are the key, so enough with my sensitive nuances. They want Mr. Tough Guy — from now to November, that’s what they’ll get.”

I can’t pretend to get inside John Kerry’s head, but, if I could, I’d try to explain that women do, indeed, want a strong defense policy.

I’d consider it being smart, not being scared and wanting a big strong man (not that strong women have anything against strong men).