Remember when pundits used to say that women didn’t vote for George H. W. Bush because he reminded them of their first husband?

Well, as we know, the gender gap is taking a hike for this election–we’re more concerned about not being blown up than being blown away by a cute candidate. Still, Wesley Pruden’s wickedly funny take on some of the alleged findings of polling data about the gap will brighten you day:

“Like nearly everyone else, [Mickey Kaus of kausfiles] finds the notion that men prefer the senator more likely than the proposition that the lugubrious style and manner that would make a mortician envious is making feminine hearts go all aflutter from sea to shining sea. ’Kerry reminds women not of their first husbands,’ he writes, ’so much as [guys] who never got to be their first husbands because he bored them so much on their first date that he never got a second.’
“The monsieur’s good luck with rich widows, who are famously suckers for fortune-seekers who can read the menu in a French restaurant, is easier to explain. Teresa, of course, regards John Heinz, long gone to the land of the ripest tomato, as her husband still. She reminds everyone of it at every opportunity.”