It’s getting to be an InkWell tradition: our annual Yuletide link to John Derbyshire’s exceedingly incorrect Christmas carols on National Review Online (see Yule Die Laughing, Dec. 23, 2003). Well, the Derb is back this year with more holiday tunes to warble while downing fruitcake from confiscated red and green plates in Plano, Texas. Here are some gems:

God Rest You, Yasser Arafat

God rest you, Yasser Arafat
You’ve gone to your reward.
We’re sorry it was not your fate
To perish by the sword.
But nonetheless we’re very glad
Your passing to record.
O tidings of comfort and joy!

Frosty the Candidate

Frosty the candidate
Was a chilly kind of soul.
With his lantern jaw
And his pompadour,
And his icy self-control.

The ACLU’s Coming to Town

Oh, you’d better not kneel,
You’d better not pray;
Don’t mention the Lord on “Holiday” ‘
The ACLU’s coming to town!

And don’t miss “I Saw Mullahs Making Atom Bombs” and the Derb’s Handel riff “The Al-Jazeera Chorus.” And this year, you can listen to Derb croon his carols here.