It’s monstrous the way the poor Cookie Monster on Sesame Street is being treated. Yes, he’s being blamed for childhood obesity.


Cookie Monster’s role is being rethought to accommodate the “anthropomorphic requirements” of PBS producers:


“For thirty six years, PBS has laughingly showcased Cookie Monster’s struggles with food,” notes Ifeminist, “jeeringly documenting his eating disorder for all the world to see, but now, bored with their torture, they have upped the ante. First they drive him to bulemia, then they accuse him of inspiring obesity in children. As a part of their new Healthy Eating campaign, they are giving Cookie Monster a new song to sing, ’A Cookie is a Sometime Food.’ ’We are not putting him on a diet,’ they sweetly protest. ’We’re teaching him moderation!’ Why do they think it any more logical for a child to emulate the dietary practices of a monster than of a tiger, a giraffe, or a mastodon? Answer: the cruelty of twisting Cookie Monster’s psyche is far more entertaining to them than forcing Gordon to eat carrot sticks.”


Ifeminist predicts that Cookie Monster will one day publish a memoir about his ordeal entitled “Am I a Monster or Are You?”