This isn’t a religion blog, but the zany gender-bending of the radical feminists who populate college biblical-studies departments these days is sometimes too rich to pass over. The latest offering: Judith Christ of Nazareth, a new set of Gospels that proves definitively that Jesus was actually a woman! (Thanks to The Anchoress, who in turn tips her chapeau to Insight Scoop.)
The subtitle of “Judith Christ” informs us that its text was “extracted from” the gospels of “Matthew, Mark, Luke and John.” Actually it’s more like the gospels of Matthaea, Marcia, Lucy, and Joan. Here’s an excerpt, quoted by The Anchoress, from the publisher’s press release:
“Her birth — Luke 2:4 And Joseph went to Bethlehem. 5 To be enrolled with Mary, his wife, who was then pregnant. 7 And she brought forth her firstborn child. 21 And her name was chosen to be Judith. * Her crucifixion — John 19:17 And She bearing her cross went forth. 18 There they crucified Judith. * Her resurrection — Matthew 28:1 Mary Magdalene and the other Mary came to see the tomb. 5 But the angel said to the women, ‘Do not be afraid, for I know that you seek Judith who was crucified.’ 6 ‘She is not here; for She is risen.’
She is risen, and she’s off having her nails done. It all reminds me of Tony Hendra’s hilarious “The Story of Jessica Christ” for the National Lampoon back in the 1970s. Hendra’s piece, a spoof of a Sunday School biblical comic book, depicted a fetching Jessica, a Gloria Steinem lookalike, hanging on the cross and wondering whether her hair looked OK.
“Judith”‘s publisher says the new Gospels will “make the message of Christ more accessible to many.” Yes, and I can’t wait to read the part about the Roman soldiers casting lots for who gets to keep Judith’s dress.