I confess: Although I loathe the gooey-left politics that hover like a rainforest mist inside every Ben & Jerry’s ice cream outlet, I can’t resist the cones. Neither can the Wall Street Journal’s Stephen Moore, who has this delightful account of his tour of the oh-so-correct Ben & Jerry’s factory in Stowe, Vt.:
“The tour itself is a 30-minute propaganda campaign explaining why the company’s founders, Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfield, deserve the Nobel Peace Prize for their unwavering commitment to the environment and economic justice.
“Meanwhile, their factory is a monument to the efficiencies of capitalism and technological progress: Several dozen giant computer-operated machines churn out hundreds of thousands of cartons a day. I half expect the massive energy-gulping freezers to be solar-paneled or powered by green-friendly windmills, but no, they use lots and lots of conventional electricity. It turns out that if you want really good ice cream, you just have to tolerate a little more global warming. That’s a trade-off that I personally am willing to make.
“Most of my fellow tourists are a bit on the chubby side, and a few start wheezing as we climb the half-flight of stairs to the observation area. These folks need another scoop of Cherry Garcia like a hole in the head. Although this company touts its ‘wholesome and natural ingredients mixed with euphoric concoctions,’ the truth is that Ben & Jerry’s ice cream mostly contains two hazardous ingredients: fatty cream and sugar.
“Herein lies a second irony: This product is probably about as good for your health as a pack of Camel cigarettes–and at least cigarettes carry the Surgeon General’s warning labels. At Ben & Jerry’s, the saying goes ‘if you can’t eat a whole pint . . . in one sitting, you aren’t really trying.’ But if you do, you might as well be injecting your arteries with Elmer’s glue. And they have no qualms about marketing this dangerous product to children. If you want to know the definition of a liberal’s dilemma, just wait till the trial lawyers slap Ben & Jerry’s with a billion-dollar lawsuit.”