L.M. comments on “the new monogamy”–the latest New York magazine-spotted trend that says it’s OK to cheat on your spouse as long as you’re “open” about it (see The Other Charlotte’s “Jimmying the Lock on Monogamy–New York Mag on the Latest Degenerate Trend,” Nov. 17):
“The open-marriage crowd seems to accept a few premises: that impulses must be acted on, and that all feelings must be aired. And for what–to pursue people who, if they have any sense, will scorn your advances? To lose friends because they are offended by your behavior (or don’t want you around their spouses), as word gets around?
“What’s wrong with giving the object of your extramarital infatuation a good leaving alone? There may be a handful of couples for whom an open marriage works; I think they have hot pants and cold hearts. But I wouldn’t want a man who didn’t care if I fooled around.”
I feel exactly the same way you do, L.M. I’m proud to be married to a man who would tear into tiny pieces–with his bare hands–any guy who decided that some “new monogamy” with me was just what the doctor ordered. And how new is the “new monogamy” anyway? Wasn’t it tried during the 1970s–back then it was known as “wife-swapping”–and then quickly abandoned when swinger after swinger ended up in divorce court?