Fellow blogstress Bookworm comments on my take on the Boston Globe’s recent article about deleriously happy thirtysomething single women (and there are plenty of them in Boston) who denounce as “couplist” those who believing in having a spouse (see “How to Love Being Single: Dye Your Hair Blue,” June 14). Bookworm writes:
Reading about the anti-‘couplist’ women made me think that, perhaps, these women are making lemonade out of the fact that, at 30, they’re still single.
Indeed, one could say that these women are making a smart decision, which is to avoid the appearance of desperation that affects so many unwed thirtysomething women. (There’s nothing less attractive than a desperate woman.) I’d be interested in seeing how many of these women are still embracing single-dom in five years.
Yes, it’s undoubtedly true that a lot of these gals are making lemonade–although if that means frequenting Chippendale’s, plowing through “The Color Purple,” and other tired old activities from the 1970s, it’s some lemonade.
I agree that looking and acting desperate is no way to attract a mate–and so, I’m sure, would blogstress Miss Kelly, who turned me on to the piece. But there’s nothing that says “spinster” faster than stuffing dollar bills into the G-string of a guy who’s probably gay anyway. And nothing says “one-night-stand but that’s it” faster than picking up a guy at a beach resort. How about focusing on hobbies, friendships, extending yourself to other people, and following this advice from Miss Kelly:
“Develop your personality and strengths so that you are an exceptional person and companion.”
To have a friend, be a friend, they say. And to have a husband, be someone worth marrying.