As grief counselors long to descend on troubled high schools, so negotiators yearn to alight in strife-torn regions of the world. In the weekend’s best piece of writing, Mark Steyn explains why this is particularly futile in the Middle East:



I was on the road the other night and so found myself watching CNN’s coverage of Israel, Lebanon, Gaza, etc. It was “Larry King Live,” and it was one of those shows where Larry interviews great men about what needs to be done and the great men all agree that what needs to be done is that the president needs to get other great men involved to ‘broker’ a ‘deal.’ Sen. Chuck Hagel proposed that Bush appoint Colin Powell or Jim Baker as his Special Envoy; Sen. Barbara Boxer proposed that Bush appoint Madeleine Albright as his Even More Special Envoy. Sen. George Mitchell, who himself served as Extra-Special Super-Duper Envoy a few years back, proposed that Bush involve the European Union. And someone else proposed the G-8. And Larry suggested Putin. Oh, and some smooth-talking apologist in Savile Row pinstripes proposed Chirac, because he and Bush had agreed a U.N. resolution on something or other a year or two back.


Aside from Larry’s closing tribute to Red Buttons, I’ve never heard more rubbish in a single hour since . . . well, come to think of it, since the last time I saw ‘Larry King Live.’ But at least that was a special with Heather Mills (Paul McCartney’s missus), with which subject Larry seemed rather more engaged, at least after Lady McCartney plunked her artificial leg up on the desk and invited Larry to feel its lifelike texture, which is more than one can say for Larry these days. But the point is that Larry and his Friars’ Club Roast approach to geopolitics is about as irrelevant to what’s going on there as could be devised, short of Sen. Hagel proposing Heather Mills as his Special Envoy, which may be just what Hamas and Hezbollah deserve.


It’s easy to fly in a guy in a suit to hold a meeting. Half the fellows inside the Beltway have Middle East ‘peace plans’ named after them. Bush flew in himself a year or two back to announce his road map.


The forces at play in the Middle East are beyond the Geopolitical Friars’ Club. The median age in Gaza is 15.8 years old. How likely is it that any of those bespoke Palestinian ‘moderates’ who’ve been permanent fixtures on CNN and BBC Middle East discussion panels for 30 years have any meaningful sway over a population of unemployed uneducated teenage boys raised by a death cult? Israel withdrew from Gaza and, instead of getting on with a prototypical Palestinian state, Hamas turned the territory into an Islamist camp. Israel withdrew from Lebanon entirely in 2000, yet Hezbollah is now lobbing rockets at Haifa.


But the good news is that the G 8 summit has endorsed GWB’s view that Israel has a right to destroy Hezbollah’s infrastructure. Big change.