At the “I’m not a feminist, but…” workshop at the NOW conference I received an amusing little card. This card, the size of a standard business card, has the following message:
“Dear Friend,
“I am a feminist.
“I am sure you did not realize this when you made/laughed at/agreed with that sexist/misogynist remark. In the past, I have attempted to alert others to my feminist/activist identity in advance. Unfortunately, this invariably causes them to react to me as pushy, manipulative, socially inappropriate, or humorless. Therefore, my policy is to assume that you do not typically make these remarks, even when you believe there are no feminists present, and to distribute this card when you do.
“I regret any discomfort my presence is causing you, just as I am sure you regret the discomfort your sexism is causing me.”
If I hear on of my friends saying a sexist comment, I’m instructed to hand them the card. Talk about being passive aggressive!