Charlotte’s (Hays) post on Halloween costumes reminded me of a hilarious article from the October 2006 issue of Jane magazine. Turn to page 128 and you’ll find a hilarious essay by Stephanie Trong entitled “Enough with the slutty costumes.” The opening paragraph says it all:
“Girls love to dress like sluts on Halloween. Whatever their costume, they always find a way to stripperfy it, no matter how ludicrous the concept. Like ‘sexy cop,’ ‘sexy zombie,’ ‘sexy Army cadet,’ or… ‘sexy shoe saleswoman.’ It’s always one big pleather, vinyl and fishnet stockings fest everywhere you turn.”
Last year, Stephanie staged a personal protest of sorts and dressed in a full stuffed baby deer suit (think, full-on professional sports mascot type of deer suit) and hit up a hot Los Angeles night club. Funny thing is, even an ugly deer suit couldn’t keep the slutty L.A. girls out on Halloween away from her. She was swarmed by crowds of annoying girls shouting, “You’re so sexy, I can’t tell if you’re a boy or a girl!” and “Please, pleeeeeeeease take off your mask!”
So, if you can suffer through the call for universal health care (p. 30 – they joking suggest moving to Sweden. I say, “Bon voyage, Jane readers!”), the complaint that teachers make less money than Paris Hilton (p. 32 – kind of like comparing apples to…rocks?), a history of famous virgins as a spotlight for their “help us pick a guy for Jane reader and virgin Sarah to sleep with before her 30th birthday” which is creepy on so many levels… (p. 36 – famous virgins allegedly include Jane Austen, Joan of Arc, and Sir Isaac Newton?) and a feature on the always annoying “party moms” (p. 92 – my favorite quote: “I love going out with Carrie, drinking, getting high or whatever, but I also know that she knows I’m her mom, and I don’t believe one can judge. Did she tell you about our tradition of having pot brownies as appetizers?”), you should read the Halloween essay