Call me wacky, but I thought not killing your customers was one of the tenants of good business. I guess I’m wrong.  No matter, the government’s got it covered.

For those Massachusetts restaurateurs bent on murder, the fun is all over.  Starting February 1, every restaurant in Massachusetts will be required to employ a “certified food protection manager” who will ensure employees wash their hands with soap and water, clean off food prep areas, and prevent cooks from poisoning patrons with allergens.  I’m sorry, was this not formerly the role of the umm….owner? manager? head chef?

But perhaps the best role for this new food cop is to suggest changes to the menu…you know so that the one or two kill-joys with 15 allergies that come in for a bland meal don’t die at the dinner table: 

“Restaurants are also encouraged to make simpler dishes by avoiding ingredients that hide allergens, like some mollusks and shellfish, barley and rye,” reports Boston’s WCVB-TV. “Currently, federal law does not require ‘minor’ allergens to be clearly listed on food labels.” 

I can’t wait for some cranky chef to smack their certified food protection manager over the head with a frying pan.  Now that might be the real danger in the kitchen starting February.