It's January, so how about some New Year's resolutions? How about some feminist New Year's resolutions?

Ann Friedman of New York magazine provides a list–"Feminist Resolutions for 2016"–and from reading it you'll learn a lot about what feminists are actually like:

Here are some samples:

Channel one ounce of Sean Penn’s egotism.…Next time you find yourself claiming that you can’t try something new because you’d be terrible at it, read Penn’s Rolling Stone interview with Mexican drug lord El Chapo and remind yourself to let your ego soar like an owl that flies among falcons. Feminist bonus points for gratuitously mentioning your genitals in your recounting of the experience.

Because if you're a feminist, you just can't stop talking about your genitals.

Stop shaving your legs. Or your armpits ….Think of it less as a feminist statement and more as an experiment in how you feel about conforming to traditional feminine expectations. For hetero ladies, embracing a little extra hair also functions as a feminist litmus test for your boyfriend….

And if he decides he doesn't want to be your boyfriend anymore–well, he's not much of a feminist!

Refuse to collaborate with a man. This might sound distinctly uncharitable—  after all, misandry is mostly an internet joke, right? — but if you want to get full credit for all your hard work, research says you shouldn’t partner up with a man. He’ll see greater benefits to your collaboration than you will. Work with women or work alone, whenever you can….

Misandry is "mostly an internet joke"?

And here's the doozy:

Start the Guilt Project. Thanks to your holiday binge-watch of Making a Murderer, you’ve heard of the Innocence Project, which opens decades-old cases to overturn wrongful convictions. After 2015’s Bill Cosby revelations, it’s clear that we could use a Guilt Project — a squad of lawyers and investigators to follow up on long-ignored claims that a certain man is a serial rapist. Because you know Cosby isn’t the only one.

In other words, launch a vigilante campaign against some guy–maybe that boyfriend who took off after you flaunted your hairy legs?– that will ruin his reputation.

People are always saying that feminists hate men–and feminists are always responding that, no, feminism is actually about the equality of the sexes, and who isn't for that?

But after you finish reading Ann Friedman's New Year's resolutions, you'll understand why only 23 percent of Amercan women call themselves feminists.