It's Thanksgiving time–which means it's time for the liberal media to feature condescending columns about how to deal at the turkey table with…you.

Here's J. Bryan Lowder at Slate: "How to Share a Table with Relatives Whose Views You Abhor"

We are all afraid—of trends beyond our control, of neighbors and loved ones who suddenly seem grotesquely alien. Yet we are still bound by ties of blood, friendship, and commitment. Soon, many of us will dine together at the Thanksgiving table. What do we do now? How do people in the grip of fear break bread? Setting aside the impractical (if seductive) option of cutting ties with everyone who thinks differently than we do, how can we begin to communicate across such vast difference?

So–you're not just deplorable; you're "grotesquely alien." Hence Lowder, obviously "in the grip of fear" (of you!) himself, turns to psychiatrist Michael Bennett:

Bennett suggests thinking of yourself like a professor in a seminar, trying to direct conversation around more general themes like what we expect out of leaders rather than contentious specifics.

Mmm, I'd just love to have one of my relatives pontificating at me like a Poli Sci 101 prof while I was trying to pass the mashed potatoes.

Megan Platt at Babe advises a different tack for those relatives whose views you abhor: Pre-Emptive Defensiveness. Say, for example, one of those creeps in your family asks you what you think of Donald Trump. Here's what you're supposed to say:

“I would be happy to share my opinions and views on president-elect Trump if I thought that you were asking because you’re genuinely interested in hearing, with an open mind, someone who believes differently than you. However, I feel like this wouldn’t be a civil conversation and you’re only asking me to judge and attack my beliefs and opinions, which isn’t going to get us anywhere in life, so I’m going to respond in a one-worded answer: happy or sad” (choose one).

That'll shut 'em up!

Nate Merrill of the Macalester College student newspaper, the Mac Weekly, is more glum:

We must go to their death filled world, where you are able to want Mike Pence as Vice President and not be homophobic. They definitely won’t make any attempt to come to us. We have to go there if we hope to understand their vote, and if we give them any of our understanding of our universe that exists outside of their distortions.

"Death filled world." And Merrill's not talking about Mom's green-bean-and-canned-mushroom-soup casserole.

But Marie Solis at says go right ahead and inflict your views:

It's our responsibility to go home and have the hard conversations with our family members, because, in many cases, only we have the power to reach them and begin the long work of rooting out bigotry in our communities.

Furthermore, keep up the rant all the way from the celery sticks all the way to the pumpkin pie.

Thanksgiving dinners typically include many courses, but it's unlikely you'll get through all of this material in one meal.

Isn't it fascinating to be regarded by the liberal media the way the Thanksgiving turkey regards the farmer with his axe? I, for one, plan to whisper a prayer of gratitude on Thursday that the timorous journalists I've quoted above aren't related to me.