More than five years ago, the New Yorker writer Jia Tolentino proclaimed that we were living in the age of “Instagram face.” Thanks to pressure from social media, she wrote, the female beauty standard had been distilled into “a single, cyborgian look.” You probably know what she’s talking about if you spend any time on social media or following pop stars, who all seem to have the look of a Los Angeles model, iced matcha in her hands and filler in her lips.
This beauty standard has evolved and narrowed such that women aren’t just getting plastic surgery; now they’re following crash diets and taking Ozempic or other weight loss drugs to make their waists ever smaller and their cheekbones ever more sallow. It seems like the body positivity of the early 2010s has all but disappeared.
“Heroin chic is back,” supermodel Veronica Webb told the Free Press for a recent article. “All because of Ozempic. There are no more different body types on the runways anymore—it’s all extremely thin. It’s disturbing.”
Supermodels or not, most women will be familiar with the pressure to be skinny, whether it comes from grumbling men on social media, other women, or health influencers urging a postpartum mom to “bounce back.” It’s important to be healthy, of course, but I think most women are keenly aware of the distinction between eating kale for the vitamin C and calorie counting for its own sake.
With famous female celebrities exhibiting dramatic weight loss and ads for weight-shedding medication seemingly everywhere, it seems like we can’t stop thinking about our size and how to feel comfortable in our own bodies. Luckily, a famous Olympian has a few thoughts to share.
If you are a casual watcher of the Olympics, reality TV, or viral videos, you’ve probably heard of Ilona Maher. The rugby star and bronze medalist has an incredible 3.4 million followers on TikTok and 4.9 million followers on Instagram. Some of this is due to her athletic talent after competing in two Olympics, some due to her becoming a fan favorite and finishing second in the latest season of Dancing with the Stars. But Maher has really amassed millions of fans through her charm, relatability, and candor in combating narrow beauty standards.
“I feel like every time I open up social media nowadays, I’m hit with an ad for a weight loss supplement or I see a thin celebrity is even thinner, or recently I’ve been getting before and afters where the before is a gorgeous, gorgeous girl and the after is also a gorgeous girl but like almost making it seem like that ‘before’ wasn’t worthy,” she says in a recent video. “And here I am with another gentle but firm reminder that it is okay to exist in a bigger body. A lot of us are not meant to be small. I am not meant to be small.”
At 5 feet 10 inches and two hundred pounds, the twenty-eight-year-old has strong cheekbones and broad shoulders. She also has a lipstick collection to rival that of any other Instagram influencer. Her athletic build has helped her achieve her success, and she won’t apologize for it. Neither will she sacrifice her femininity.
Maher’s Instagram profile pic shows her looking like Audrey Hepburn from Breakfast at Tiffany’s. Her posts are funny and girly, from joking about “refusing to take my makeup off before I get a postable pic” to listening to the Mamma Mia soundtrack at the gym. As an elite athlete with a flair for the feminine, Maher is in a prime position to remind women and young girls that they don’t need to be supermodel thin to be beautiful.
At the beginning of the Paris Olympics last year, Maher posted a video that got over nine million views. “As the Olympics officially start today, I want you all to take a look at all the different body types on display,” she advised. “All body types matter, all body types are worthy, from the smallest gymnast to the tallest volleyball player or rugby player to a shot putter and a sprinter. All body types are beautiful, can do amazing things, so truly see yourselves in these athletes and know that you can do it too.”
She has even pushed back on commenters who say she looks too “masculine,” and her confidence is off the charts. When an interviewer asked her about experiencing imposter syndrome, she responded simply, “I don’t have that.”
Maher’s charm comes from being completely unbothered by what the prevailing cultural winds say a woman’s body should look like, though she admits to feeling worn down sometimes. With the popularization of plastic surgery and even just social media filters, it’s been easier for media outlets and those who stand to gain financially from women’s insecurities to push the narrative that women’s body types themselves can be trendy—or not. Think of the Kardashian sisters getting famously curvier and abruptly shrinking those curves, for example.
But our body types aren’t trends, and trying to change them isn’t like buying a new eyeshadow color or dyeing our hair. The reason Maher is so popular is she has proven on and off the field that “all body types are beautiful” and “can do amazing things,” no matter if social media suggests otherwise. Sometimes we need a reminder that not all bodies should look the same, but that doesn’t mean we are more or less feminine.
And she may have been talking about her weight, but Maher also offered a profound reminder for women who would feel less confident about themselves because of what society thinks: “I am not meant to be small.”